FADE IN

If Fay Ann Lee's film Falling for Grace (www.fallingforgrace.com) is a quintessential romantic comedy, the process of getting to our interview played more like a farcical comedy of errors.

Our meeting time was changed a couple times due to the surprising demands of Fay's schedule when she arrived in Des Moines. When they time was finally confirmed, I found myself nearly falling down in Target while rushing to buy a hand held tape recorder, changing clothes in my car while driving, and getting my arm stuck in my shirtsleeve at a red light, much to the delight of the Hells Angels wannabe in the next lane. I arrive at her hotel and we decided to find something to eat. Without thinking, I offered to drive and then had to introduce her to the "homeless shelter on wheels" that my car had become in recent weeks. She stood in the heat while I threw clothes, napkins, batteries, boxes, notepads, CDs, soda cans, water bottles and "random bits of living" into the backseat and brushed the crumbs off the passenger seat.

While driving, we were talking about a project I'm developing for Susan G. Komen for the Cure and she finally said, "ya know, we could stop at any of these places your passing." I laughed like an idiot, realizing I had gotten so caught up in conversation that I forgot the purpose for being in the car. So, I made a U-turn on some weird gravel semi-driveway and we found ourselves enjoying the finest haute cuisine at McDonalds, she with the McNuggets, me with the iced coffee. (Perhaps caffeine was the last thing I needed.) The humor continued as Fay tried to get water from the self serve soda fountain, only to repeatedly filled her glass with neon blue PowerAde. By the time we made it to a small table to actually start the interview, it felt like we were good friends laughing really hard about how ridiculously funny the imbalance of life can be.

The story of how Falling from Grace (originally titled East Broadway) ended up on the screen in Des Moines, Iowa, is, itself, a film-worthy tale. 10 years ago, while making the transition from working as a stage actress in shows like Miss Saigon to work in film and television, Fay found herself disappointed by the roles available to Asian American women. "I didn't see the point to continue acting if I was only ever going to be offered the cleaning lady, the nurse, the lawyer who speaks Chinese." So, she decided to write her own script. She took a screenplay writing class and developed a romantic comedy ("I am totally a Chick Flick kind of girl") inspired by several random meetings she had with John F. Kennedy Jr. over the course of a few weeks. "I saw him on the street, in a restaurant, at the bank, he rode past me on his bike. I just saw him everywhere. It's not odd to see a celebrity on the street in New York. But I saw him A LOT in a short amount of time. I thought, is he stalking me? Am I stalking him? And when I started writing the script I wondered if someone like that--"American Royalty"--would ever date a working class girl from Chinatown."

On the recommendation of her teacher, she entered her script into a few writing competitions and garnered some interest from a few Hollywood producers based on her scripts recognition in these competitions. Thrilled, she took a few meeting where she was told how much they loved the script and wanted to buy it, if she would make one small change. As a first time writer, she was open to anything, however this "small change" was they wanted her to change the Asian American lead to a Hispanic lead so they could offer it to someone like Jennifer Lopez. "Uhm, why would Jennifer Lopez grow up in Chinatown and have Asian parents?"

With the guidance of a producing mentor, she decided instead to raise the money herself to the make the film how she thought it should be made. She armed herself with the script and a rough trailer she had made with some friends and, over the next four years, put together the financing herself. On the strength of the script alone, famed casting director Billy Hopkins came on board and brought in several recognizable actors, including Gale Harold, Christine Baranski, Margaret Cho, and B.D. Wong. When the film suddenly found itself without a director, Fay stepped in to that role as well. I asked if it was overwhelming to be ever-increasing her responsibilities--from writer to actor to producer to director to, ultimately, distributor.

"I was never really sure if I could it, but with each step I just kept moving forward. I never wanted to be the director because I was too scared to do that. But when the director bowered out, I had to take on the directing. It was just one thing after another because I was just focused on getting the movie made. I believed in the story and I believed there was an audience for it so I just kept going."

Once the film was complete, it was accepted by the Tribeca Film Festival, one of the premiere festivals in the country, where New York Magazine named it one of the top films to see. Falling from Grace was so well received by the audiences that they actually added an additional showing during the festival. It seemed all by certain that the film would be picked up for national distribution. And then came the brutal blow from a few of the potential distributors she met with: they told her that they didn't believe "Mainstream America" was ready for a romantic comedy that had an Asian American female protagonist. She was shocked.

"I think Mainstream America is completely ready for this movie and Hollywood has completely missed the mark. ... It's just an old fashioned romantic comedy that happens to have an Asian American lead. I'm not saying my movie is award worthy. But what I know is that it is a very audience friendly film. ...
I hadn't really thought about it much but I was talking to some friends of mine recently and came to the realization that I think Asians are very invisible in this country. So my movie and my presence is very invisible to Hollywood. They just don't see it. They don't think Asian Americans are compelling. ...
But people are ready for new stories. Look at our political climate. Look at Obama, and even Hilary. I think people are starving for change. And I think they're ready for a minority segment to step up--to have more presence. And it seems that all little films are having a hard time. I'm trying to prove to Hollywood that America wants a movie like this."

Where most filmmakers might take this industry rejection as the final nail in the coffin and move on to their next project, Fay decided to take another tactic. She became her own distributor and contacted small theaters across the country and asked if they would show her film. In return, she would travel to the theater and meet with the audiences that supported Falling for Grace.

"With most distribution for films this size--if they're distributed at all--they are given a limited run in Los Angeles and New York City. If they are successful in those markets, maybe they will slowly roll out into other cities. I decided I wanted to open everywhere else first. And also I wanted to create some kind of story so when I do open in New York or Los Angeles, I can say 'well, guess what--Des Moines, Iowa, DOES want my movie. In fact, the requested it and supported it."

Given her passionate determination not to let her film go the way of many films that never see the light, I asked what had been the most surprising thing about the path this journey has taken.

"Actually, I think the greatest gift in what I'm doing is to find the complete strangers who are rallying behind this movie. I mean, I landed in Iowa where I don't know a single person and I'm greet immediately by six people around me saying, 'okay, you have this interview and then this radio show and this television interview,' on and on. A woman saw the movie in another city and took on the distribution role herself IN AUSTRIA. She took my little movie to this other country and toured around with it because she believe in it that much. I couldn't go to Austria but she could and she did. ... I mean, how did this happen?"

Falling for Grace has been compared to My Big Fat Greek Wedding in its audience appeal. Given the incredible success of that film, I asked how it was possible that it could be suggested that there was no audience for her film.

"Greek Wedding made $250 million at the box office. Granted, that movie had the support of Tom Hanks but it was still a very simple, straightforward romantic comedy. I believe my film has the same kind of appeal plus the potential for a huge international market. Let's say my movie makes a fraction of the Greek money. $5 million, maybe. Then they (the distributor) can release my movie in China where THERE ARE A BILLION PEOPLE. Why do they think they're not going to recoup?"

As I was preparing to meet Fay, I did a lot of reading online and was a bit surprised by the strong negative reaction it had from some people, much of which attacked two aspects of the film: the harsh judgment that the lead actor is not also Asian American and the fact that this successful and independent woman doesn't seem to feel complete until she has a man in her life. I asked Fay about these things because they struck me as odd since it is widely discussed that Falling for Grace was inspired by Fay's continuous run-ins with John F. Kennedy, Jr. who is, uhm, not Asian American. And what romantic comedy doesn't have at its core the message of someone feeling incomplete without love?

"First off, I think that a lot of the people who are making these comments haven't actually seen the movie. I mean, frankly, not a lot of people have. They are basing their judgments on what they think they know from the trailer or from what they've heard. ... I used to get so upset that people would say such nasty things about me or about the film or that 'I'm not Asian enough' but now I'm numb to it. ...
My whole point of making the movie was to try to make a film that will speak to the mainstream. Also, I think the ultimate message of Grace's journey is very feminist. Without giving away too much, by the end of the film she stands her ground on what she needs from the person who says he loves her. And, no, the male lead is not Asian American but that's just not the story that inspired me to write it. That doesn't mean the film is void of strong and interesting Asian American male characters. The father, the brother, the co-worker. They are complicated characters with interesting things to say that add to the tapestry of the film. ...
Really, I just wanted this to be an All American movie that just happened to have an Asian American family in it. I think the way for Asian Americans to lift our level in Hollywood is for an Asian American film to be an All American film. That was my goal. I wanted to make it as "Mainstream" as possible and I was shamelessly trying to do that."

As a final question, I asked Fay if there was some advice that the person she is today would give to the person she was before this whole journey began.

"I think the one thing I would say is that I should have trusted my gut more. I was so green in terms of being a producer, being a director, that I always was looking for approval from everyone else because they had so much more experience than me. I think to young filmmakers--to first time filmmakers--I'd say that you've got to trust your gut, especially if it's something you wrote. Trust your gut and go for it."

Anything else you want to add before we sign off?

"Yeah, tell everyone you know to tell Oprah about my story," she said with a smile. "I'm not even kidding."

FADE TO BLACK

www.fallingforgrace.com

When singer-songwriter Martha Berner saw my interview with artist Paul Moschell, she told me I should to check out the work of Joe Sorrren. The minute I clicked on his website, I immediately sent off a note to Martha, thanking her for the introduction.

The work of Joe Sorren tells quiet stories of wonder with melancholic grace. I found myself studying each of his paintings, wondering about the dreamlike characters that filled the snapshots of the canvas. At turns, they made me smile and filled my eyes with tears. It's my favorite kind of storytelling--the kind that takes me by surprise with its complicated emotions--and I was incredibly grateful when Joe agreed to answer a few simple questions.

In reading more about you, I keep coming across the word "lowbrow" to describe your paintings which, frankly, struck me as an offensive description for any kind of art. What is your definition of this word and how do you feel about it being used to describe your work?
My take on it is, it's best to focus on the work and not the categories. They can be a distraction.

I read a fantastic interview with you from several years ago and I wanted to ask about something you mentioned. You compared the feeling that you strive for in your work to night-swimming. Can you say a bit more about that?
There is a quiet force that i feel when I swim at night, it is sort of like an excitement of stillness. Maybe it is all the potential energy, I am not sure. But it is similar to the feeling of painting. Does that explain it? Kinda? 

What made you decide to include the Painting in Progress on your website? It seems a risky move to invite "the world" in to your creative process and inviting critiques, criticisms and questions while you're trying to figure it out for yourself.
When I paint I feel like I have no secrets. It is just a strand of discovery and wrong turns. This way of working takes me longer, but I feel more engaged with the piece than if I were to plan it all out beforehand. More like being an archaeologist on a tightrope or something.

Is there any one of the characters from your work that you would most like to meet as a real person? Whose story do you think might be most fascinating to hear?
Hmm... that is a cool question. Hmmmm. I guess, in a way, I feel like I have met the people in my work.

It's been said in several interviews that music is a reoccurring theme in your work. What are you listening to these days? And how do you think music most influences your style?
Lately I have been listening to loads of Django Reinhardt.  The thing about music, at least the thing I most gravitate to, is the rhythm. I see it mirrored all over everything. In nature and roads, in painting, in randomness. It's like people-watching in an airport or something, the non-scripted flow, like a slinky of conversations all ebbing and crashing. Music is like that too, it's just caged, and I enjoy the steady cagedness of it. Does that make sense?

Another word that comes up a lot in reference to your work is "childlike." Which, to me, stings a bit with a condescending curl of the lip. How do you interpret this description?
Ah, fuck em.

From what I've read, you're a curious soul with an unquenchable thirst for new things, ideas, understandings. What random subject are you currently obsessing about?
How to grill vegetables.

What's the best question you've ever been asked?
"What the hell is that?" 

And whose answer to that question would you most like to hear?
How about Filippo Brunelleschi? That would have been fun to witness. Have you read, "Lives of the Artists," by Giorgio Vasari? It is about artists (obviously). The thing I love about it is that it was written in the 16th century, and is colored by 16th century sensibilities. It helps to put things in perspective. 

www.joesorren.com

Finding Tiffanie DeBartolo's GOD-SHAPED HOLE will probably always be one of my favorite literary finds. That may a bit grandiose to say but it's how I honestly feel about the stories and characters that came to life in this funny, lyrical, tragic, romantic, lyrical, honest, heart-breaking and magical book. What seems to be a simple "girl meets boy" story left me feeling both devastated and hungry to fully embrace life in all its insanity, humor and grace.

Tiffanie DeBartolo was one of a few people whose work inspired my desire to do this interview series so I am incredibly grateful that she took time out from her insanely busy schedule to answer a few questions.

Can you tell me about a bit about your upbringing and background?

Sure. I was born and raised in a small town in Ohio called Youngstown. It was the kind of place Bruce Springsteen would write a song about. Wait, he did write a song about it. Youngstown was a big steel town at one point, but it fell into a decline in the 70's, so it was kind of a depressed place to grow up. I remember it being very gray, and there was little to do as an adolescent beyond local high school football games or hanging out at the mall, neither of which appealed to me, so I spent the majority of my time in my room reading books, listening to music, and watching MTV. Luckily my dad traveled a lot for work, and very often he would take the whole family with hmi--my mom, my two sisters, and me--so I got to visit a lot of different places, which definitely shaped who I became, and fueled all my restless dreams. 

How did the did the original idea of God-Shaped Hole come to you and how long did it take you to get from that original inspiration to finished book?

The idea came to me after Jeff Buckley died. GRACE was one of the most influential CDs I'd ever encountered, I was inconsolable over Jeff's death, and I needed a place to put all that grief. For me, writing has always been my outlet for pain. It's also where I explore the existential questions of life and death. The book isn't about Jeff, obviously, as I never knew him. It's more like a literary response to his music. A fictional story inspired by the spirit I found in his songs. I began writing the book with that intention, anyway, and I finished it nine months later, almost to the day.


At the beginning of GOD-SHAPED HOLE Jacob and Beatrice buy each other a record that they think reflect their perceptions of each other. What album do you think would best describe you?

TD: Wow, that's a really great question. It's a hard one, too. There are three or four that come to mind, but if I must narrow it down to one, I have to go with U2's ACHTUNG BABY, reason being that, to me, ACHTUNG BABY is a record about struggling with demons, about the frailty of humanity, about love and all its contradictions, and the internal and external conflicts that cause love to thrive, or that tear it apart. It's about how despairing love can be, and also about how love is the only thing that can rescue us. It's beauty and truth; it's a divine, gorgeous mess. It's life being lived moment by moment. It's everything I believe in. And the idea that we are all complicated creatures fighting every day to be the best we can be, to hold on to love, to hold on to dignity, to be authentic, and to not allow ourselves to drown in our confusion, these are the themes and issues I wrestle with in my life, and, as a result, in my writing. I can't think of a better record that sums up who I am.

It's been said that most first time novelist pull a lot of the story from their real life. How true is that with God-Shaped Hole? And how much are you willing to elaborate on the truths within the fiction?

Well, I think that on some level, all authors put pieces of themselves and much of their experiences into their work, at least all the authors that I love. Every human being on the planet sees the world with a unique viewpoint, and I think any author would be doing a disservice to the reader if they didn't share that viewpoint. That's what makes an author's voice so powerful. It's perspective. And I would be fooling myself if I said I didn't have a pretty specific perspective, or that there wasn't very significant parts of me in my characters, but one of the real tricks in writing is having all of one's emotional truths and quirks on hand, and then letting go of them, at least consciously, when you write. In other words, I dont sit down and say, “Okay, Eliza is going to have these traits of mine, and Beatrice is going to be like me in the following ways.” It just happens. I may have already said this, but for me, writing is very often an exercise in exploration, an attempt to answer a question or to solve a problem, and naturally, if one is thinking about these things and obsessing over them on a daily basis, they are going to be evident in the work.

I know you also wrote and directed Dream for an Insomniac. What inspired you to pursue a career as a novelist instead of continuing on the Hollywood path?

Well, in my opinion, Hollywood is more than just a place; it's a way of life. And it was a life I really didn't want to lead. I value my privacy, and the solitude of writing. Making films necessitates a lot of schmoozing and game playing and socializing that I just didn't have in me. That said, I really did love the experience of being on the set, and watching my words and my vision come to life. If I could still do that, and not have to deal with any “suits”, I would. But, alas ....

I seems that GOD-SHAPED HOLE would make such a beautiful and lyrical film but it's my understanding that you won't let that happen. Why is that?

That's not entirely true. I actually think both of my books would make great films, I'm just really picky about who could step into the shoes of certain characters, mainly Jacob and Paul. If I could be involved to the degree that I got say-so in the casting, as well as the script, I'm all for it. If anyone reading this knows Ryan Gosling, tell him I've got the perfect role for him. =)
Beatrice is driving away from Los Angeles at the end of GOD-SHAPED HOLE. Where do you imagine she is today and what is she doing?

TD: Well, that question is actually answered in (Tiffanie's second novel) HOW TO KILL A ROCK STAR. She makes a cameo very near the end of the book. That's all I'm going to say.

What is your process as a writer? Are you disciplined and focused or random and manic?

I'm disciplined and focused to an almost annoying degree. I've actually been striving in the last couple years to loosen the reins a bit. Last summer I realized that I'd been writing virtually nonstop for over a decade, and I took most of the last year off from writing to recharge. In the meantime I did charity work for an organization I work with called Road Recovery, and I started an indie record label, which has been amazingly fun and rewarding, a real learning experience, but a lot more work than I ever imagined. I've also been traveling like crazy. I'm just coming back to writing now, and it feels good after being away for so long.

As for my process when I'm in writing mode, I have a pretty particular schedule--my dogs wake me up early, usually about 6:30, I have coffee, then I go for a run or hike or a bike ride. It's imperative to my well-being that I do some sort of physical activity every morning. Then I'm usually at my desk by nine, and I write until four, or, if it's a really good day, until my eyes get blurry and I can't see anymore.

Of the fictitious characters you've created, who would you most like to meet as a real person?

Ha, that's another great question. Is it a cop-out to say that on some level I feel like I've met them all already, through the real-life characters that have inspired them? Not acceptable? Okay, then I think I'd have to go with Jacob Grace, only because he is the most fictional, in the sense that he wasn't based on anyone I'd ever met, and he was a real inspiration to me. Discovering Jacob taught me a lot about life and how to live it, and I'd be honored to have him in my extraordinary group of friends.

What about your life as a novelist has been the most surprising?

That I get to do it, and that people are actually moved and entertained by my work. I know what it means to be inspired and touched and changed by a book or a song, and to think that I can impart a little of that in someone else is a remarkable gift. Furthermore, if you had asked me at age fourteen what my dream job was, I would have described my current occupation. It's so cool to get to do what you love to do, especially something so creatively satisfying. Not that it isn't a huge challenge at times. It's not a life that allows one to shy away from feelings or experiences, and I don't mean that in a hedonistic way, that's not what I'm about at all. I mean that if you don't exist with a certain amount of awareness, if you aren't participating and paying attention, you end up gypping yourself and your audience of authenticity and knowledge in your work. I recently read an article in Psychology Today that said one of the ways a person can learn to be more authentic in their life is by reading novels. I feel the same way about writing them. You can't fake it, and knowing that keeps me on my toes. I can't waste a lot of time or live in vain without feeling like a loser, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

Are you working on a new book? If so, how much can you tell me about it?

I am. I began this book a few years ago, finished an embarrassingly awful rough draft last summer, then walked away from it for a while. I'm completely rewriting it now, to the point that it will probably be almost unrecognizable to the two people who had the bad luck of reading the original manuscript, but I'm not sure of the hows or the whys of the story yet, so I can't really say much more, except that on some level it's about forgiveness, making amends, and learning how to let go.

What's the last book you read that you loved so much that you simply didn't want it to end?

SHANTARAM by Gregory David Roberts. I also really liked THEN WE CAME TO THE END by Joshua Ferris. I started that on a plane going from London to San Francisco and finished it before we landed. Oh, and THE MOTEL LIFE by Willie Vlautin. Excellent in its simplicity. I strive to write like that.

In the two books you've written, music has played a very important role. What is the importance of music in your own life? And why do you think it is such a universally powerful form of expression?

Music is everything to me, my biggest inspiration, my religion, my salvation. It’s like food. I need it to survive. And I think its power lies in its ability to stir things up, to reach down deep and instigate a reaction. It makes you feel something, and in such an accessible medium. Plus, music allows for complete commiseration. I maintain that there is a song out there to speak to every emotion, every experience, every hope, dream, and fear one can have. And it's impossible to feel completely alone in the world when you put on a great song and know that the person who wrote it, or the person singing it, or playing it, has felt what you're feeling.

What guilty pleasure music do you love that would most surprise people?

My favorite radio station is The Heart on XM radio. It's all sappy cheesy songs from the 70’s and 80’s, and I am kind of proud and kind of embarrassed to admit that I know the words to almost everything they play. =)

You've won a vacation to anywhere in the world. Where would you go, what would you do and what books would you take along?

God, I love these kinds of hypothetical questions. I think my answer would change week to week, depending on my mood, but right now I'm leaning toward Southeast Asia: Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Myanmar. I love to experience new cultures, new cuisines, new people, and this is a part of the world I have yet to visit. What would I do there? I'm a dork when I travel. I would visit all the temples, churches, museums, little villages, and tourist attractions. Whatever the country had to offer, I would want to see it.

Crap. Can I have a second hypothetical vacation? I also really really really want to go to the Maldives. But this would be a surfing and swiming and have sex on the beach vacation, as opposed to a cultural awakening. =)

And as for books, I'd bring the next three in my “to read” pile, which are, in order of appearance, THE LIME TWIG by John Hawkes, THE GINGER MAN by J.P. Donleavy, and DON QUIXOTE by Cervantes.  

Can you tell me a little bit about the record label you co-own?

I'd love to. It's called Bright Antenna, named after a line in the Rush song “Spirit of the Radio”. It's a song about maintaining integrity in music, which is what the label aims to do. We joke that if rock 'n roll were a pool, it would need a good strong does of chlorine, and Bright Antenna wants to be that chlorine. I am one of four partners, the Chief Executive Super Goddess, if you will. =)

As far as the music we want to put out, if I had to generalize I'd say we lean toward alternative indie rock, but we're certainly open to anything of quality. Our first official release was an EP by a young, extremely talented band from Liverpool, England called The Wombats. They're actually quite popular across the pond, and are just starting to break America now. In the meantime, we're in negotiations with a couple other bands, and have a lot of cool things in the works.

You've worked in the three major storytelling industries--publishing, film, and music--how are they interconnected and what are the pleasures and struggles in each?

I guess because I worked so separately in all three, I don't see them as interconnected. And being that I haven't worked in the film industry for over a decade, that one doesn't seem to apply anymore. Right now the struggle for me is that I essentially have two full-time jobs: I'm a writer, and I'm the CESG of the label, and if I ever want to publish another novel I have to learn how to balance that a little better. The good news is that it's now a tax write-off for me to go to shows, and to wander around to see bands. Not to mention that I'm constantly being sent music, by my partners and by artists and bands, and I often spend a good chunk of my day on MySpace listening to it. I can't really complain about that.

Here, at the end of the interview, what would you like to say to the writer who was staring at a blank piece of paper, desperate to the tell the story that can't seem to find words and fearful that perhaps all the naysayers are correct, so instead this struggling artist is here, reading your story while trying to find the courage to dive back into the unknown?

I would say that, believe it or not, I was staring at that same blank page this morning. And four hours later I had about five hundred words staring back at me. You have to start somewhere. And always write your story pretending that no one is ever going to read it. You can't be a good writer and a self-conscious one. If I thought about who was going to read my words before I published them I'd never put out anything.

I would also like to say that writing is as much about discipline as it is about talent. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don't sit your ass down and grind it out, you'll never get anywhere. That's my advice in life as well as in writing. Get off your fucking ass and do something. Try to make the world a brighter place. You can be as lazy and useless as you want when you're dead.

www.myspace.com/tiffaniedebartolo

As the music industry continues to evolve, independent musicians found a true champion in Derek Sivers, founder of CD Baby. Since it's inception in 1997, this online record store has paid over $80 million directly to independent musicians all over the world, with $6-$10 from each sale going to the artist, compared to $1-$2 from standard record deals with major labels.
To learn more, check out www.cdbaby.com

Instead of standard interview, Derek and I met up in the wonderful world of instant messaging. Below is our exchange:

Derek: Hello.
Me: Well hello Mr. Sivers.
Derek: I've never done an IM interview before but it seems to make sense. Both interactive and no need to transcribe after.
Me: I haven't done it either ... we'll see how it goes.
I've been reading a lot about CD Baby in preparation for this discussion.  Congratulations on its staggering success.
Derek: From my point of view, CD Baby is something I made 10 years ago that I've been half-removed from since 2002. I think I just put some good DNA in motion and it's taken on a life of its own since then. I can't take full credit. (Any more than a parent can take full credit for his child.)
Me: Any great success ultimately becomes a group effort but you were the instigator and your work has changed the marketplace for independent artists. ... I read on your Wiki page that you told your first employee ""This thing might get huge one day. I mean, we might have 100 artists here."... How does it feel to see what it has become?
Derek: Yeah. That's a good feeling. It's amazing to me how much things have changed in the 10 years since I started it. 10 years ago, there was not a single company anywhere online that would sell your music unless you had a record deal or distribution deal. It's great knowing I had something to do with how much more the artists are in control now.
Me: It seems that the whole entertainment industry is changing due to the internet. You no longer need to be in the "major cities" in order to find success. In fact, the Big Companies are trying to figure out how to do what the little guys are doing.
Derek: An example of how things change : When I decided that every artist was going to get paid every Monday night, everyone thought I was crazy because the standard was to pay quarterly, every 3 months. Now that weekly has become the standard, it's actually heartwarming to watch a new generation of artists complain about having to wait until Monday to get paid.
Me: Is it true that Rachael Sage (www.rachaelsage.com) was one of the first artists to join the CD Baby family?
Derek: Technically the very first! Even before me. My own record wasn't even on CD Baby until later. At first it was something I was only doing for some friends. She was #1.
Me: That isn't surprising. She's a brilliant artist and her own kind of sequined pioneer. I think she's amazing. I'm interviewing her this week as well.
Derek: Cool. Please tell her I said hi. She's been a real pioneer all along. Always had her shit together.
Me: I know. One of my absolute favorite artists. I actually sang with her a couple weeks ago. my first full concert was opening for her.
Derek: Cool!
Me: I'll be joining the CD Baby family soon, hopefully.
Derek: About time!
Me: CD Baby is expanding into web hosting and independent film. What other ventures can you see it growing into? Any new developments you can discuss?
Derek: I'm not secretive. I can discuss anything you want. 20 years ago, it used to cost a fortune to create an album. Then technology improved to make it cheaper so now just anyone can do it.
10 years ago, it used to cost a fortune to distribute your music, because the only way to do it was to compromise your integrity and sign your life away to a major label. Now because of companies like CD Baby, just anyone can do it. So now that both creation and distribution are cheap and easy, what's left is promotion.
Me: Very true. "Now that anyone can make music, how do you get it recognized?"
Derek: Exactly. That's the new challenge I'd love to tackle.
Me: It's overwhelming how much talent there is in the world, once the "talent machines" are taken out of the picture.
Derek: I have some plans on what that might be, but luckily my friend Ariel Hyatt from Ariel Publicity has beat me to it in many ways. She totally overhauled her company and is now doing internet promotion that is quite amazing. arielpublicity.com
My dream is to make the $99 promo campaign. A company that could help just anyone get some damn good customized promotion for $99. We'd make it clear that we wouldn't be doing anything that you couldn't do for yourself, but we'd have in-house experts that could do it very efficiently and effectively, doing in 5 hours what might take you 5 weeks.
It'd have to be completely customized for every client, though. A beginner blues artist would get a completely different promo campaign than an established techno artist.
And it'd have to be completely transparent, meaning : you can log in to your account and see every email sent and received on your behalf, and actually listen to recordings of every call placed or received on your behalf. A real time-log of exactly what the company has done for you.
Me: Fantastic idea. ... You are a true entrepreneur, making real what other people seem to only talk about. Where did that rebel and trailblazing streak come from? How did you come to be so passionate about helping others make their dreams come true when you could have used your drive for self-promotion?
Derek: I've discovered it's what I love most in the world : learning, then applying what I've learned to create something that helps musicians. I've learned a lot in the past few years about systematizing a business so that it's efficient and reliable, able to be run by anyone. If you're interested in this stuff, read a great book called E-Myth Revisited (Michael Gerber).
Me: Ah yes, I'm very familiar with that book already. Other great books to check out are The Long Tail (Chris Anderson) and A Whole New Mind (Daniel Pink).
Derek: Cool! Thanks.
(I've included more information on these books at the end of this interview)
Me: What is it about music as an art form that most inspires you?
Derek: There's a great quote from a jazz musician that said, "If you can learn music, you can learn anything."
The process of learning music, writing music, recording music, performing music, then marketing my music have each been life-changing experiences for me.
So really, though I love music, I love musicians more. I love helping people with that process. For me, the passion is about the process, not the end result of the music itself. That's why I love helping "just anyone", not passing judgment about who's great and who's not.
Me: On your personal website (www.sivers.org), you offer up the music you've written to be used and recorded and sold, seemingly with no expectation of royalties. Why did you decide to do that?
Derek: It's old and I don't need the money. (laughs). When CD Baby took over my life, I stopped writing and recording. Something in my head switched and I just felt like helping other artists instead of writing more music myself. So that music is like looking at home movies from 10-20 years ago. I'm proud of that kid, but quite distanced from it.
Me: How do you think the music industry will change over the next 10 years? It seems that more and more the artists are becoming responsible for themselves instead of "just being the artist" with a posse to do all the work.
Derek: Exactly. I have a pretty unpopular opinion about this. I was recently at some pompous invite-only music industry event where bigwigs were brought together to discuss the future of the industry. Everyone was talking about how this "$4 billion dollar industry" is going to continue, but the unspoken assumption was that it has to stay at that level or grow. I stood up and said, "What if the entire music industry becomes like the poetry industry? Instead of 1000 people making $1 million, what if the future is a million people making $1000? What if we just need to admit that nobody's going to get rich doing this, and if that bothers you, then you should leave?" Of course that was widely booed and shooed as crazy-talk. But I think that kind of shake-out could be really healthy for the music business. Nobody's in the "poetry business" to get rich.
Me: Maybe if you're making music because it's the only thing your soul will let you do instead of making music because it supports your cocaine habit, that will be a good thing.
Derek: Exactly. Similar story:
I was at a conference speaking on a panel next to Neal Portnow, the head of NARAS, when the subject of piracy came up. He said, "If we don't stop piracy soon, artists will have no motivation to create music anymore!" I said, "I think we'd be better off without those artists that wouldn't create music without financial gain."
Me: Very true. What we have to acknowledge is that changes are happening and there is no stopping it. You can shut down things like Napster but don't assume you've won because in 10 minutes there's going to be the exact same thing hosted somewhere else.
Derek: Ugh. Napster. Yeah. The ultimate centralized P2P distribution system could have so easily been monetized. That was the industry's greatest mistake.
I realize this sounds hypocritical since I'm so driven to help artists make money, but I think that's the tao of business : to succeed, you have to be doing something for love not money, then the money will come.
Me: Maybe what you're doing is helping generate buzz about the artists so people show up for their live shows. live performance is where the indys make their money.
Derek: Well, when I watch CD Baby pay out over $2 million per month directly to the musicians, it's hard to buy into the philosophy that artists don't make money selling music.
Me: Yeah, the artists do but the big businesses don't ... that's the real threat. If you make the major labels irrelevant--or even a hindrance--that changes everything.
Derek: Some artists are better suited to a live-concert career. Some are better suited to selling recorded music. Some make a great living selling music to film and TV. For most, I think the hybrid is where it's at. Finding multiple channels of income puts you on steadier ground, the same way that a table with four legs is steadier than a table with one.
Me: Absolutely true. What needs to happen is the acceptance that the rules and the playing field have changed and will continue changing.
Derek: I met an artist in Hong Kong recently who said that he's been meeting with Warner Music a lot lately, and that they've been surprisingly grassroots entrepreneurial, as if they've already reached rock-bottom and realized their old methods don't work, and are adapting to the changing times instead of becoming irrelevant. That would be interesting!
Me: Yes, the way that the Majors respond to the realization that they're no longer in control will be very interesting to watch. ... What are you working on these days outside of CD Baby?
Derek: I've been a non-stop workaholic since I was 18. In college they called me "the robot" because nobody ever saw me eat, sleep, or even relax. So now I'm 38 and the past few months I've actually been exhaling a bit, reading, learning, relaxing, traveling. I guess this is my current learning experience : learning how to relax a bit.
Me: Excellent. I'd say you deserve a bit of quiet downtime. I look forward to seeing what you'll do next. Thanks for your time today. I'll talk to you soon.
Derek: Ok good. Over & out! Take care.

www.cdbaby.com

Books mentioned in our discussion.

The E-Myth Revisted by Michael E. Gerber walks you through the steps in the life of a business -- from entrepreneurial infancy, through adolescent growing pains, to the mature entrepreneurial perspective -- and works to dispel the myths about starting and growing a new business.
Visit www.e-myth.com or Amazon to learn more.

A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink is a guide to surviving in the fast-paced, upside-down world we live in today, proposing that the future of global business belongs to the right-brainers.
Visit www.danielpink.com or Amazon to learn more.

The Long Tail by Chris Anderson argues that the future belongs to those that serve the millions of untapped niche markets as well as they serve the masses. Read his manifesto to find out how unlimited shelf space and personalization can revolutionize business.
Vist www.thelongtail.com or Amazon to learn more.

 Kim and I both love to be in the kitchen and cooked a lot while living together in New York. While making daydream lists of where the Once Upon A City collection could go, we started talking about creating colorful cakes decorated with the artwork and the stories. This lead to some research on what other people were doing when cake was used as the palette and the paints were food coloring. Through this, I discovered the cookbook The Whimsical Bakehouse: Fun-to-Make Cakes That Taste as Good as They Look on Amazon.com a couple years ago and was totally blown away. What these women were doing with cake seemed like a Dr. Seuss daydream.

Curious about their background, inspiration and experiences, I sent them a baker's dozen questions.

WHAT HAVE BEEN THE CHALLENGES AND THE ASSETS OF BEING A MOTHER/DAUGHTER TEAM?
Kaye: The best part of working with Liv is just watching her develop as a human being. I am in awe of her. The challenge: not taking it personally when she criticizes me.
Liv: Well, my mom is inspirational. She is the hardest worker I know. I aspire to be as strong as she is – and I don’t mean just lifting heavy tiered cakes (although she is known to flex her toned biceps on occasion), but emotionally. That said, she is still my mom and I can regress a bit with her: complain openly, talk back, etc…something that wouldn’t happen with another boss.

KAYE, WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO OPEN YOUR FIRST BAKERY IN 1988?
I love baking and had always baked for Liv, family, and friends. After waitressing, catering, and sewing to make a living I finally decided I wanted to own and operate my own business. My then partner, Jill, and I opened the Runcible Spoon in 1988.

LIV, HOW DID YOU DISCOVER THE AMAZING CONNECTION THAT COULD BE MADE BETWEEN YOUR TRAINING AND TALENT AS A PAINTER AND HOW IT COULD BE USED ON A CAKE CANVAS? AND AT WHAT POINT DID IT TRANSITION FROM BEING A HOBBY TO BEING A CAREER?
Before graduating college if someone asked me what I wanted to do with my life I would say, “Other than painting I’m not sure what I want to do, but I do know that I don’t want to work in the food business.” This was spoken from experience - I grew up helping my mom and knew how labor intensive the food industry was. I ate my words. I started working for my mom in 1994 (just “temporarily”) but when I moved from cashier to cake decorator something clicked. It was creative, rewarding, and I actually liked the hands-on labor involved in the day to day bakery world.

In college I had an amazing painting professor, Kay Walkingstick, whose approach to teaching was physical, gestural, and a lot about letting go and just seeing what happens. This forgiving and exploratory way of working was freeing and it definitely allowed me to see how much could be learned from experimentation and accidents. Without this lesson I would not have discovered all of the decorating techniques I use today. Many of my decorations are created on a whim.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE ABOUT OWNING YOUR OWN BAKERY?
Kaye: Being the boss. But the relationships that we have developed with our employees have been a real gift. Some are like family.

Liv: Actually my mom is the boss. Although it wasn’t much of a surprise, she has always been supportive of everything I do: from designing new cakes to taking a step back from full-time work to teach and raise my son.

WHAT CAKE PROJECT PROVED TO BE THE MOST CHALLENGING?
Kaye: My first wedding cake that I had to bake and decorate by myself.
Liv: Every year when the major holidays approach we experience the lull before the storm. We dread the hundreds and hundreds of stock cakes that we will have to produce, the fight for storage space, and the long hours. And thanks (not), to my fertile imagination too many of the cakes are overly decorative.
Basically instead of relaxing on the holidays you work like a machine.

WHAT HAS BEEN THE MOST BIZARRE REQUEST FOR A CAKE DESIGN? AND ARE THERE ACTUALLY REQUESTS THAT MAKE YOU SAY "I'M SORRY. WE WON'T DO THAT?"
Kaye: We say “no” to erotic cakes…
Liv: …I might scare the customers with my realism.
Once a customer asked for a pile of s**t on their cake. Talk about unappetizing. I’m not sure who or how or why we said yes to it, but we did, and it was gross. One of our decorators embedded kernels of buttercream corn to really put it over the top. But I wouldn’t do it again.

CAN YOU TELL ME ABOUT A BAKING EXPERIENCE THAT WENT SO HYSTERICALLY WRONG THAT IT STILL CONJURES LAUGHTER TO THINK ABOUT TODAY?
Kaye: Before I knew any better I used to measure out my ingredients cup by cup- imagine counting out 90 cups of flour and losing count after 80. It still makes me laugh.
Liv: Most of the things that have gone wrong initially made me want to cry, but in retrospect it’s all ok. Like delivering my cousin’s wedding cake- half way through the trip the cake slid off its board and hit the back of the car seat. Luckily we were able to push it back into place and make the mashed side the back.

IS THERE A SECRET YOU'VE LEARNED THAT YOU BELIEVE EVERY NEW BAKER SHOULD KNOW?
Kaye: Be prepared to work long and hard.
Liv: People new to, or outside of the food business, sometimes think it would be so fun to decorate cakes, but really being a cake decorator is a lot like any other job – it has its ups and downs. I love the creative aspects of my job, but the day-to-day work is more like an assembly line. Sometimes you can find a comfortable rhythm – sometimes it is plain old stressful.

WHAT COOKING UTENSIL WOULD HAVE YOU CURSING THE BAKERY GODS IF YOU SUDDENLY REALIZED IT HAD GONE MISSING?
Kaye: The 80-quart mixer. We’d be out of business if we didn’t have one (or more).
Liv: My metal cake scraper. Basically it is a sawed off bench scraper that I use to make my final coat of buttercream super smooth.

HOW HAS THE BAKERY INDUSTRY CHANGED SINCE THINGS LIKE THE FOOD NETWORK HAVE DARED PEOPLE TO TAKE NEW RISKS IN THE KITCHEN?
Kaye: For the most part our customers aren’t very adventurous - our best seller is still our fudge layer. But our other best seller is our “mini-birthday –cake” (the tipsy colorful cake on the cover of our first book) so they will try new items if they catch their eye.
Since I am constantly trying new recipes our more daring customers always have something interesting to choose from.
Liv: Our customers, thanks to all of the wacky Food Network Challenges, think we can do anything with cake. I can do a lot with cake, but not anything. We are limited because we don’t use fondant (mom says it tastes bad) or complex inedible structural supports, nevertheless, my decorations have gotten wilder and more colorful over the years simply because people responded to them and would buy them.

AT THE RIVIERA BAKEHOUSE, WHAT ARE THE SEASONAL FAVORITES, BOTH FOR YOURSELF AND FOR YOUR CUSTOMERS?
In general customers can’t get enough of our cupcakes – some weeks we bake 16 dozen a day. And then when December rolls the oven is always full of cookies- we probably sell about 200 pounds of cookies a day. Each holiday and special event has a special menu and these include seasonal favorites like Easter bread, football cakes for Superbowl, 3-d ladybugs and beach pails for the 4th, pies for Thanksgiving, and Yule Logs for Christmas.
SPRING
Kaye: blueberry crumb cake
Liv: Mmm, sounds good to me too.
SUMMER
Kaye: summer bounty pie
Liv: real strawberry shortcake (biscuit) and strawberry rhubarb pie
FALL
Kaye: apple pie
Liv: pumpkin pie, or maybe pecan pie, or maybe sweet potato pecan pie
WINTER
Kaye: Stollen and Christmas cookies
Liv: Gingerbread

WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO MAKING A DESSERT FOR YOURSELF, DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE?
Kaye: When I am baking for myself - just chocolate chip cookies. The last time I made them I baked chocolate chip and m&m cookies with my grandson.
Liv: Maybe because I work with cake I don’t crave cake. When I want dessert I make Flan or I pick up a fruit pie from the bakery.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A GOOD OLD FASHION FOOD FIGHT?
Kaye: No. Even as a kid we didn’t fight with food (just for it). It was too important- we never thought we’d get enough. That’s what happens when you have 10 brothers and sisters.
Liv: I’ve never had a food fight either -but I don’t think being an only child is an excuse.

Kaye and Liv Hansen run the Riviera Bakehouse in Ardsley, NY. Learn more about the bakery here.

And for more about The Whimsical Bakehouse cookbooks and recipes, click here.

Denver-based artist Paul Moschell is one of my favorite discoveries from the weird world of MySpace. His watercolor paintings are a delightful combination of pathos and humor and the eyes of his creations seem to hold the kind of stories you're both intrigued and nervous to hear. 


For more information, check out www.myspace.com/paulmoschell

Below is the note I sent to Paul in reference to our interview:
In my quest to figure out some questions for you, I approached the characters in your paintings to see if they had suggestions. I got a few odd responses that made me question the sanity of the watercolor world where these people live. I would go so far as to say that perhaps a few of them are a bit disturbed with some secrets that are probably best kept hidden behind their wide eyes. (I'd be especially careful with Bobby Louise and Bobby Francis. Wow.)

Here are the 10 questions I felt comfortable sharing:

Paulette the Poo Poo Face Puppet Girl would like to hear your whole life story in under 20 words.

First, I came out of my mothers vagina … after that, it has been a daydream for as long as I can remember.

Loud Mouth Latoya had a different question from each of her mouths so it was a bit hard to understand her at times. However, several of the mouths asked the same question: how and when did the matchbox series start?

Ahhhh … it started in my late twenties, when I was chain smoking cigarettes and surrounded with matches. I found most of the match box covers to be quite dull … so I decided to paint on them. I still paint them from time to time when I need to keep things light hearted … or when I am smoking again. I really don’t care for lighters.

Simple Seleena sat in quiet judgment of me for several minutes before scribbling on a scrap of paper with a quill pen. She then waded up the paper and threw it at me, walking away on an uncertain mission. In the penmanship of a serial killer, she simply wrote: why watercolor?

Why not? I love the way it can be layered and manipulated. And I love using water … it is my favorite element. Besides, I do not use watercolors in a traditional fashion … most watercolor paintings usually consists of sky blue washes and lakes and trees and such. I like to lay it on heavy and in many layers … As I do with many things in life.

Suki Suki Sue smashed a fortune cookie against my forehead and let the fortune fall in my soup. I fished it out with the single chopstick she had given me and let it dry a bit before trying to read it. “When the paintbrushes are resting, what do you do to fill the time?”

Boring stuff. I like to hide in my house and clean and make up dance routines for my dog and cat to enjoy. I enjoy going out at night sometimes … cocktails in strange hotel bars is always interesting. And plants … I really only like 2 stores -- the art supply shop and the greenhouse. I have run out of room for any more plants in my studio but I buy more anyway. Especially succulents.

Lil' Pablo quietly wanted to know what artists inspire you with their music, paintings, films, writing, food or ability to braid barbed wired without injury.

Music is a big one. Lots of soul music. Sade ever since I was a lad has been my favorite singer. Her voice is straight from heaven and her lyrics are the most beautiful. Donnie Hathaway, Mahalia Jackson… god, I could go on for days with this one. And house music when I wanna shake my ass. NOT techno or trance … but deep soulful house. Movies… ummm, too many in my DVD collection. But I always wait for the dvds ... movies theatres freak me out. Unless they are really empty I don’t enjoy them. I can't recall the last film I actually saw at a theatre. I think it was Lady In The Water, I liked it.

Lil Bleu Smokin Devil Boy said “vegetarians rock” and then put out his cigarette in the piece of angel food cake I was eating and walked away. Somehow he believed he had offered up her question for you. Let's just assume he'd like know how you were first inspired to become a vegetarian and how that evolution has changed your perception of the world around you.

I have been a vegetarian for twenty years. I started when I was a teen. To me it is just a filthy industry. And cruel. I read an article in national geographic when I was in high school about mother whales who lost their babies to poachers. And then the mother whales would go down to the bottom of the ocean and find an old rotten log or something and push it around the ocean floor for months pretending it was their child. It was heartbreaking to me and that’s where it all started. For me it is just not natural to eat meat. And with the industry using more steroids and cages and poor conditions than ever it is becoming more and more poisonous to peoples bodies. It's gross.

The Lima Bean Queen insisted I ask how fatherhood changed, challenged or altered your life as an artist and as a man.

Being a dad is scary. The fear of messing up or feeling like a failure hangs over your head all of the time. And at the same time, of course, it is magical. You get to re-live all of the things that you loved as a child--like sledding or trick or treating--and all of the things that you probably wouldn’t do as an adult if you didn’t have a child. But I am like a big kid all of the time anyway. My son thinks I am a crazy person.

Penolope the Poodle Girl, of course, wants to know about Sybil. I think she feels a bit threatened.

Ahhhhh… Miss Sybil, my Chihuahua. She is my numba one side kick for sure. She is so tiny with these giant eyes and I am certain that I snatched her up because she reminded me of my work. Sybil and I get a lot of snickers in public -- here is this 6’1’’ 200 pound man covered in tattoos with a two pound dog. ... But we don’t care because we know we could kick all their asses.

Saint Sylvester laughed really, really, REALLY hard when I asked if he had a question for you. “Ask about the tattoos, man,” was all he said as he flew away. So, I'll ask. Which tattoo did you get first and how many do you currently have?

I got my first tattoo when I was 19 in Spain. I was in a bar in a small coastal paradise called Benidorm and thought I would be really tough and get inked. I got a tiny shark on the back of my shoulder (which has since been covered) and when the tattoo artist finished after all of 5 minutes I stood up and then passed out and hit the floor. HA! It was quite embarrassing. As for how many I have now I couldn’t tell you for sure … I just always say “a lot."

Fish Food Freida thinks you should tell us all, in a very loud and clear voice, why art is important.

For the same reason that music and good food and conversation and friends and family and naps and great sex and sunny days and laughter and everything else is important. It has always had its place. It is a gift from the heavens … And therefore it is important.

www.myspace.com/paulmoschell

The title is a lovely sentiment but, frankly, I don't know that I even believe that it's true.

It seems to be a time of staggering change for a lot of people I know. Huge questions are being asked and easy answers aren't being found ... well ... easily. I suppose that could be the point--that it's not suppose to be easy because you (I/they) will appreciate the beauty of "whatever comes next" more if it is a bit of a struggle to get there. It could also be said that through the struggles, we clarify what we want because we're constantly being asked to either change course, settle for less or give up. Of those, I recommend changing course over settling or quiting. But what do I know? Your business is your business and I'm certainly not in a place to be giving life advice.

I think one of the hardest things to accept during the process of truly "waking up to life" is how much control we actually have over the course our lives take. I don't mean that all the struggles and pitfalls are your own fault--I mean, if you can get yourself in, you can very likely get yourself out.

And then there's the issue of control itself. There is the brutal realization that you cannot, will not, should not, and never will be able to control what you are given by the people and circumstances that cross the path on your life journey. Ultimately, all we can ever truly control is our reaction to what we are given. And that realization kind of sucks.

You know, that whole "if life gives you lemons ..." speech we've all heard a thousand times? Well, what if I don't want to make lemonade? Maybe I want to throw the lemons back at the stupid tree that dropped them. Maybe I want to make lemon drop martinis and drink lunch. Maybe I want to jab a couple black thumb tacks in the side of life's lemon and draw on a smiley face and tell people he's my new fangled, biodegradable, earth conscious Mr. Potato Head named Citrus Bob. Yeah, maybe THAT'S what I want to do when life gives me lemons. ... That analogy makes a bit of crap sense but I hope the message came through somehow.

I guess the point is, I wanted to acknowledge the struggles of the people I know and the people I don't know. The Universe seems to be shifting a bit and old scars are being challenged by new opportunities and questions just seem to be leading to new questions. It's exhausting. But giving up doesn't seem likely and settling for less seems a bit disrespectful to struggles that brought us this far so maybe there's a bit of rethinking necessary. So maybe it's time to sit for a moment, take a few deep breaths and revisit the road map with an open mind to the alternate routes that might lead to the same destination.

Yeah, let's sit for a bit and talk about that.

You bring the forks. I'll bring the lemon meringue pie.

When I made the decision to do a series of interviews of people that have inspired me creatively and otherwise, there were some very obvious first choices.  I'm thrilled to say that in the coming weeks you will be introduced to all of them as they have all said yes to my request.

First up is Eric Himan, an extraordinary singer-songwriter I discovered by chance a few years ago. I don't know how exactly I ended up on his page on CD Baby but I immediately fell in love with his music and promptly ordered everything. As fate would have it, I was at WineFest here in Des Moines a couple weeks later and there he was, singing from the stage. I met him briefly that night and found his grace and charm to equal the passion and power of his music.

I interviewed him last summer when I was doing a small publication to support the independent musicians making a stop at Ritual Cafe, my favorite coffee shop here in Des Moines. Since then, I've seen him every time he's made Des Moines a stop on his tour and it always feels like I'm reconnecting with a friend.

With his latest album, Resonate, Eric explores a wide range of emotions and stories so I used the song list and the few descriptors included with each of them in the CD case as the inspiration for a series of questions instead of a standard Q&A format. For a more formal introduction to the full definition of all that is Eric Himan, please check out his website and his MySpace page.

WISH YOU WOULD
A song about looking back on someone you lost in love or in life.
When I saw you perform this song at Ritual Cafe last year, you hadn't yet decided on a title. How do your songs usually come to you? A melody? A single lyric? A title in search of a song? And how many of your songs are autobiographical and how many are storytelling?
My songs come to me in all different ways. Sometimes, I have a just a melody line and a single lyric (usually these two are hand in hand). Other times, I will find a few chords that fit together well and then step away from it for a while. Then, one day (this part sounds magical,ha), in my mind the lyrics and melody will find the chords. I would say 95% of my songs are autobiographical, whether a story of my life or my thought process. The rest are songs that are challenges in songwriting for me like Clyde, He’s Using You, and Little Boy Blue.

OPEN THE DOOR
A song for my sister, Janet, who needed her big brother to stand up for her.
The small description of this song is very intriguing, especially when someone like me starts trying to dissect the lyrics and figure out the truth of the matter. How much more can you say about the story that inspired this song?
This song was inspired by conversations with my sister about our father. He got married a few years back and really took to his wife’s family. I think my sister felt a bit estranged and when I saw this, I decided to write this song as a wake-up call to him and let him know that she was feeling this way. This song successfully started a great dialogue between them.

LITTLE BOY BLUE
Written about a transgendered boy I met years ago who taught me how to be myself without apologies.
Can you talk a bit more about the boy who you met, how he challenged your thinking and the lasting impression he has left on your life?
“Little Boy Blue” was written about a great transgendered boy I met a few years back while doing a tour of LGBT youth centers. I met many great youth on this trip, but no one made me work harder for their friendship than the boy that inspired this song. By the end of the day, we were good friends. I learned not to force friendships and take people for who they are. He was very straight forward with his emotions and I respected that. I remember that he was in between homes at the time and I wonder sometimes what happened to him. Hope he is ok.

Be sure to also check out the music video for Little Boy Blue.

UNTIL THE ROAD UNWINDS
A song I wrote for a movie that it didn’t end up in. However, it is a great song about the importance of family, not necessarily biological, but the ones you call family.
Though it can definitely apply to gay people who find themselves shut out by their families, the concept of our "chosen families" is universal and we all seem to magically find the right "tribe" that makes us feel less alone. This song seems particularly written for a person that helped raise you though not a blood relative. Can you explain a bit about the story of the film that inspired it? And what was that writing experience like?
This song was written specifically for the movie, For The Bible Tells Me So. They asked me to write something for the film but in the end, they went with a popular song from an established artist. I wrote it after seeing the film and the connection we either have or crave with our own family. Whether it is being gay or other things that might hit a family hard, we all have that special person in our lives (my Grandma Grace is mine) that sticks by us no matter what and gets the whole story. This song is dedicated to anyone who has this person in their life regardless of if they are blood related.

FOR ME
Our culture is so obsessed with celebrities and their private lives more now than ever. After awhile you get caught up hearing about their lives even when you’re not actively seeking it. Then there are millions of reality shows made to make new celebrities. This world is a scary place; someone seeking stardom is eliminated from a reality show every hour.
While there are songs on this album that are almost aggressively political--Protestor's Song being the most obvious--to me it felt like this song sprang forth from a great deal of anger and frustration at the state of celebrity. As an artist trying to "break through", how does it feel to see how people are treated who are living the life that in, some ways, you aspire to reach?
I struggle sometimes with the kind of life I see for myself. Though money and fame can bring security (which I crave sometimes when feeling especially vulnerable in business), I always wanted a career in music to express myself and my opinions. On a basic level, I am doing that right now and very satisfied. Seeing celebrities and how everyday people have more to say about famous people’s lives than their own, made me think that we all tend to take some else’s word as truth. Like hearing some else’s opinion or the media’s opinion of someone we don’t know saves us from having to get to know them and understand them ourselves (ie. Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan). We begin to like who they like, or hate who they hate and this extends to peer pressure as well. In the second verse, I describe seeing a kid abused by a father and how we can be trained to just walk by and think that we do not understand and can’t help the situation. We need to give everyone a chance regardless of what rumors/gossip is heard.

PROTESTER'S SONG
After all the Pride events I have done with protesters attending with hate, I decided to own my feelings instead of trying to suppress them about the issues that surround the LGBT community in relation to family values, the military, and that word that is often thrown at us: hell.
As I said previously, this is the most obviously political song on the album and, I believe, the first time you've written a song so in your face with it's rage. It's my personal favorite on the album and I wanted to stand up and cheer when I first heard you sing it in a show. How do you think the decision to be an openly gay artist has affected your professional journey, both good and bad?
It is hard to answer this question, because I don’t know what it is like to NOT be an openly gay artist. I was out from the get-go and this was because I didn’t want to package myself up as something I was not. I wanted to speak about my life and being honest. I wrote this song and accepted it the way it came out. I didn’t edit it and chose not to be afraid of offending those who didn’t agree with my values, something that does make me nervous being a people pleaser as I can be. I have received so much praise for this song and I am so glad that it gets the reaction that it does with gay and straight people.

IN DEMAND
This song is about money, of course, and how it takes money to make money. It also takes believing in yourself to make others believe in you too.
It seems that many people these days are more concerned with their financial status than their emotional or spiritual status. In some ways, this song seems to mock that as a way to try to get the focus back on what really matters. Where did the inspiration for this song come from?
This song was written for anyone who has ever said to me: “when you get big and famous” or “when you become a big star and sell out”. The idea that success will change me and my values based on increased finances always offends me a bit. It shows a lack of trust in me. When an artist who sells their art to make a living is looked down upon for getting more successful, I always wonder the backlash of those who have followed their careers for a long period of time. They fear this loss of who the artist once was. I don’t think money has ever changed me, whether I had a lot of money or no money (been at both ends), and this song was made to kind of poke fun at that thought process; The idea that the whether you are rich or poor, the electric company only cares if you pay the bill. The way gas prices are going, the line “they raise the prices and they never put them back” seems very suitable these days.

ONLY
I finally wrote my first upbeat happy love song…it’s taken a while.
I've talked to a lot of singer-songwriters who have said they can only write when their life is a mess, that it's easier to write about hurt, anger and loneliness than it is to write about joy and happiness. The note you include about this song makes me think perhaps this a bit true for you as well. Why do you think this is?
I used to think this way too; that art comes from struggle. But, these past few years when I looked at my songwriting and had things in my life hit that great balance and I was happy, I thought there is so much left to explore. Just because I was happy, didn’t mean there was nothing to write about. My life isn’t over once I reach happiness. It is continuous and there are plenty of things to write about the journey.

HE'S USING YOU
Wrote this as I was listening to an acquaintance talk about money over love. I started to feel bad for anyone who truly falls in love with someone who is only after material things. This is my “Christina” for Patty Griffin fans.
Is the person who inspired this song aware that they were the inspiration and, if so, what was the reaction?
Also, you mention Patty Griffin whom I know you greatly admire. If you had the chance to interview her but found out suddenly that you could ask only one question, what would it be?
I wrote this song for a friend who made an off-handed remark that seemed like a last resort. “If I don’t find Mr. Right, I’ll just marry some rich guy”. I got this person in my mind, this little rich guy, and how unfair a relationship with my friend would be. How this fictional person deserved more than that. I began to think about relationships in my past where I felt like I was being used. I put those two things together. I did tell him about the song and he actually liked it. Maybe he will think next time he thinks of a rich guy as a last resort or a viable option for that matter. You know I LOVE Patty Griffin. If I could sit down and ask her one question, it would be "Who or what influenced you to starting writing your own music?" I find the answers to this question are very unique.

WE ARE THE SAME
This was a piece of a song that I had written awhile back and decided it just needed to be a short, sweet song about treating others as you wish to be treated. First somewhat spiritual song I’ve written.
What I like about this song is the way it just simply states a very clear message that cuts to the ultimate truth of the world we live in. I love the line "the world is too small to be scared of it" because we have a tendency to view the world as this enormous place but it really isn't all that big and we are more connected to each other than we sometimes want to admit. At what point did it click for you that the simplicity of this song was really all it needed to be?
I remember writing this song with just the verses that are in it now. I wrote it all in one shot and put it aside. I kept coming back to it trying to make it this elaborate song. It never felt right and when it came time to record it, I ended up just singing and playing what I had. When I heard it back, I realized that it didn’t need anything else. I said everything I wanted to say and proud of it.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING
A song I released as a solo acoustic song that accompanied my first music video. Decided to spice it up a bit with the band and make it new again.
It's seems that there is a whole story in this song, just in the one line " I’m begging you now to reflect, the best of me I’ve not seen yet". Can you tell me more about the inspiration for this song and how it came to be?
This song came out of a HUGE soul searching month two years ago, towards the end of my touring with Everywhere All At Once. I had burned myself out on the road and didn’t know if my heart was in music anymore. I began to stress on it leaving me just looking around any corner for a sign or an answer. I sat down with my friend, Cas, and played her the few verses I had of this song and though talking out my feelings, this song came to life. By the end of our talk, this song was completed. The line in the song you reference was from being so vulnerable and open to a sign. When the song was finished, I knew that music was my outlet, my communication, and my life.

(ENCORE)
Thanks for the taking the time to answer these questions, Eric. To steal a question from Inside the Actor's Studio, if there is a God, what would you like him to say to you when you show up at the pearly gates?
Thank you for being you.

www.erichiman.com

Be sure look for Eric as he seems to be on endlessly on tour. And please go in search of his music. You can thank me later.

 Shadley

I have iGoogle set as my homepage so everyday when I log in there's a a barrage of fun facts, games, news, etc. One of the sections is a "How to of the Day." I've never clicked on one before because sually they say things like "How to Raise Mosquito Larvae for Fish Food" or "How to Cook a Snake." ... These are not skills my current life requires.
However, one of today's articles caught my attention. Kim and I are in the process of trying to accomplish some pretty big things of which Once Upon A City is only a part. And a big dose of boldness will likely make the difference between being a blip on the radar with simple lives and becoming formidable creative professionals living extraordinary adventures.
So I thought I'd repost the article here. Just in case you needed a reminder as well of how much power you actually have over making the leap from Wanting to Having.
Go on, now. Be bold. I dare you.

How to Be Bold

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Begin, be bold and venture to be wise. -HoraceIf you're shy, hesitant, or passive, you run the risk of leading a boring life marked by routine and unfulfilled goals. Most progress, however, has been led by people who were bold--scientists, political leaders, artists, and others who didn't wait for opportunities; they created opportunities. So if you want to be bold and unstoppable, here are some ways to kick start your momentum.

Steps

1. Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody who is as bold as bold can be, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act. If you don't know anyone like that, think of a character from a movie or book who's daring and brave. Spend one hour a day or one day a week pretending to be them. When you do this, go somewhere that people don't know you and won't act surprised when you do things that are out of character. Go through the motions and see what happens--you might discover that amazing things happen when you're bold, and you might be convinced to carry this bold behavior into your everyday life.
2. Make the first move. Whenever you're feeling hesitant--especially in your interactions with others--swallow your pride and make the first move. Ask your acquaintance if they'd like to go to the bar down the street for drinks after work. Tell the person you fancy that you've got two tickets to a concert and you'd like them to come with you. Give your significant other a big hug and apologize for that time you overreacted a few months ago. Smile and wink at the attractive cashier.
3. Do something unpredictable. What could you do that would completely surprise the people who know you? Wear high heels? Skydive? Take a dance class? Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing. You can start small, perhaps by wearing a color or style of clothing that you don't normally wear, or visiting a place you normally wouldn't visit. Eventually, you may get to the point where you entertain ideas that make other people's eyes widen when you mention them ("Are you serious? White water rafting?" or "You're kidding me. You want to buy that restaurant on 3rd Street?").
4. Ask for what you want. Rather than wait to be recognized for your efforts, or expect someone to consider your needs, step right up to the plate and ask. Some people feel that asking for things is greedy, selfish, and rude--and it is, if you're asking for something you don't deserve. But if someone is witholding something that you've rightfully earned, they're the ones being greedy, selfish, and rude. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? They say no. Life goes on.
   • Ask for that promotion or pay raise you've been waiting (and working) for.
   • Ask for a discount. A little haggling can go a long way.
   • Ask to have your credit card's annual fee waived.
   • Ask a relative, friend, or even a complete stranger for help or advice.
   • Ask for clarification if you're not sure what is expected of you.
5. Take risks. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks...they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, is well aware of the risks, and has decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out. Think of an athlete who takes risks every day. Are they reckless? No. It's a measured risk. You might make a mistake; we all do. But inaction can be a mistake as well, one that leads to emptiness and regret. For many people, having taken risks and fallen flat on their faces was far more fulfilling than having done nothing at all.

Tips

• Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you; it's about overcoming your fears and taking action.
• Don't worry about rejection. Try to make your invitations to others occur as "without consequence," i.e., the opposite of an invitation from your mother to dinner. Conversely, when your invitation is declined, boldly accept it and leave the other person/people feeling okay with their choice.
• While there's power in taking on something new, there's also a greater chance of failure because of your lack of experience. Embrace the failure; it's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. The opposite of success is sitting still.

Related wikiHows

• How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
• How to Think for Yourself
• How to Be a Nonconformist
• How to Accomplish a Goal
• How to Be Bold on wikiHow

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be Bold. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

I am a huge fan of music, especially female singer-songwriters. As I begin to roll out the interviews with the people that inspire me creatively, I'll just warn you right now that a lot of them are girls with guitars. I make no apologies for that.
I'm also a big fan of discovering new music. I rarely listen to the radio and it because of services like www.pandora.com that my Amazon wish list is 11 pages long for CDs alone. If you're not familiar with Pandora and you love you music, you need to acquaint yourself. Basically, you log in, you type in the name of a favorite song or artist and then a free radio station is generated that matches that style or artist. And each song they play has a hyperlink to the album on Amazon and iTunes. This would be why I get in trouble.
This is a bit of a sidebar because I discovered Adele in a much different way. I had read that you could hear the entirety of Alanis Morrissette's new album on VH1.com before it was released in stores. Going back to my love of female singer-songwriters, I, of course, wanted to hear it. Yes, in fact, it was there. Yes, in fact, I bought it. But it didn't stop there.
Among the videos of artists You Outta Know was a woman named Adele with a song called Chasing Pavement. Curious enough title. So I played the video. Instantly blown away.
A smoky voice with gut wrenching delivery and a video with a brilliantly told story. Add to that a comment I read by Adele when I researched her more. Of course, I cannot find the comment again in order to quote her correctly but, essentially she was talking about being stressed out and eating to deal with it. When asked if she was nervous about her weight in the entertainment industry, she responded (paraphrasing) "I'm here to sing, not to look pretty for you." She's only 19 years old. If she can hold on to that attitude, she's gonna be just fine.
It goes without saying, Alanis wasn't the only album I bought that day. And, honestly, I fear the Alanis album will discover the beauty of dust long before Adele's record will.