Denver-based artist Paul Moschell is one of my favorite discoveries from the weird world of MySpace. His watercolor paintings are a delightful combination of pathos and humor and the eyes of his creations seem to hold the kind of stories you're both intrigued and nervous to hear. 


For more information, check out www.myspace.com/paulmoschell

Below is the note I sent to Paul in reference to our interview:
In my quest to figure out some questions for you, I approached the characters in your paintings to see if they had suggestions. I got a few odd responses that made me question the sanity of the watercolor world where these people live. I would go so far as to say that perhaps a few of them are a bit disturbed with some secrets that are probably best kept hidden behind their wide eyes. (I'd be especially careful with Bobby Louise and Bobby Francis. Wow.)

Here are the 10 questions I felt comfortable sharing:

Paulette the Poo Poo Face Puppet Girl would like to hear your whole life story in under 20 words.

First, I came out of my mothers vagina … after that, it has been a daydream for as long as I can remember.

Loud Mouth Latoya had a different question from each of her mouths so it was a bit hard to understand her at times. However, several of the mouths asked the same question: how and when did the matchbox series start?

Ahhhh … it started in my late twenties, when I was chain smoking cigarettes and surrounded with matches. I found most of the match box covers to be quite dull … so I decided to paint on them. I still paint them from time to time when I need to keep things light hearted … or when I am smoking again. I really don’t care for lighters.

Simple Seleena sat in quiet judgment of me for several minutes before scribbling on a scrap of paper with a quill pen. She then waded up the paper and threw it at me, walking away on an uncertain mission. In the penmanship of a serial killer, she simply wrote: why watercolor?

Why not? I love the way it can be layered and manipulated. And I love using water … it is my favorite element. Besides, I do not use watercolors in a traditional fashion … most watercolor paintings usually consists of sky blue washes and lakes and trees and such. I like to lay it on heavy and in many layers … As I do with many things in life.

Suki Suki Sue smashed a fortune cookie against my forehead and let the fortune fall in my soup. I fished it out with the single chopstick she had given me and let it dry a bit before trying to read it. “When the paintbrushes are resting, what do you do to fill the time?”

Boring stuff. I like to hide in my house and clean and make up dance routines for my dog and cat to enjoy. I enjoy going out at night sometimes … cocktails in strange hotel bars is always interesting. And plants … I really only like 2 stores -- the art supply shop and the greenhouse. I have run out of room for any more plants in my studio but I buy more anyway. Especially succulents.

Lil' Pablo quietly wanted to know what artists inspire you with their music, paintings, films, writing, food or ability to braid barbed wired without injury.

Music is a big one. Lots of soul music. Sade ever since I was a lad has been my favorite singer. Her voice is straight from heaven and her lyrics are the most beautiful. Donnie Hathaway, Mahalia Jackson… god, I could go on for days with this one. And house music when I wanna shake my ass. NOT techno or trance … but deep soulful house. Movies… ummm, too many in my DVD collection. But I always wait for the dvds ... movies theatres freak me out. Unless they are really empty I don’t enjoy them. I can't recall the last film I actually saw at a theatre. I think it was Lady In The Water, I liked it.

Lil Bleu Smokin Devil Boy said “vegetarians rock” and then put out his cigarette in the piece of angel food cake I was eating and walked away. Somehow he believed he had offered up her question for you. Let's just assume he'd like know how you were first inspired to become a vegetarian and how that evolution has changed your perception of the world around you.

I have been a vegetarian for twenty years. I started when I was a teen. To me it is just a filthy industry. And cruel. I read an article in national geographic when I was in high school about mother whales who lost their babies to poachers. And then the mother whales would go down to the bottom of the ocean and find an old rotten log or something and push it around the ocean floor for months pretending it was their child. It was heartbreaking to me and that’s where it all started. For me it is just not natural to eat meat. And with the industry using more steroids and cages and poor conditions than ever it is becoming more and more poisonous to peoples bodies. It's gross.

The Lima Bean Queen insisted I ask how fatherhood changed, challenged or altered your life as an artist and as a man.

Being a dad is scary. The fear of messing up or feeling like a failure hangs over your head all of the time. And at the same time, of course, it is magical. You get to re-live all of the things that you loved as a child--like sledding or trick or treating--and all of the things that you probably wouldn’t do as an adult if you didn’t have a child. But I am like a big kid all of the time anyway. My son thinks I am a crazy person.

Penolope the Poodle Girl, of course, wants to know about Sybil. I think she feels a bit threatened.

Ahhhhh… Miss Sybil, my Chihuahua. She is my numba one side kick for sure. She is so tiny with these giant eyes and I am certain that I snatched her up because she reminded me of my work. Sybil and I get a lot of snickers in public -- here is this 6’1’’ 200 pound man covered in tattoos with a two pound dog. ... But we don’t care because we know we could kick all their asses.

Saint Sylvester laughed really, really, REALLY hard when I asked if he had a question for you. “Ask about the tattoos, man,” was all he said as he flew away. So, I'll ask. Which tattoo did you get first and how many do you currently have?

I got my first tattoo when I was 19 in Spain. I was in a bar in a small coastal paradise called Benidorm and thought I would be really tough and get inked. I got a tiny shark on the back of my shoulder (which has since been covered) and when the tattoo artist finished after all of 5 minutes I stood up and then passed out and hit the floor. HA! It was quite embarrassing. As for how many I have now I couldn’t tell you for sure … I just always say “a lot."

Fish Food Freida thinks you should tell us all, in a very loud and clear voice, why art is important.

For the same reason that music and good food and conversation and friends and family and naps and great sex and sunny days and laughter and everything else is important. It has always had its place. It is a gift from the heavens … And therefore it is important.

www.myspace.com/paulmoschell

The title is a lovely sentiment but, frankly, I don't know that I even believe that it's true.

It seems to be a time of staggering change for a lot of people I know. Huge questions are being asked and easy answers aren't being found ... well ... easily. I suppose that could be the point--that it's not suppose to be easy because you (I/they) will appreciate the beauty of "whatever comes next" more if it is a bit of a struggle to get there. It could also be said that through the struggles, we clarify what we want because we're constantly being asked to either change course, settle for less or give up. Of those, I recommend changing course over settling or quiting. But what do I know? Your business is your business and I'm certainly not in a place to be giving life advice.

I think one of the hardest things to accept during the process of truly "waking up to life" is how much control we actually have over the course our lives take. I don't mean that all the struggles and pitfalls are your own fault--I mean, if you can get yourself in, you can very likely get yourself out.

And then there's the issue of control itself. There is the brutal realization that you cannot, will not, should not, and never will be able to control what you are given by the people and circumstances that cross the path on your life journey. Ultimately, all we can ever truly control is our reaction to what we are given. And that realization kind of sucks.

You know, that whole "if life gives you lemons ..." speech we've all heard a thousand times? Well, what if I don't want to make lemonade? Maybe I want to throw the lemons back at the stupid tree that dropped them. Maybe I want to make lemon drop martinis and drink lunch. Maybe I want to jab a couple black thumb tacks in the side of life's lemon and draw on a smiley face and tell people he's my new fangled, biodegradable, earth conscious Mr. Potato Head named Citrus Bob. Yeah, maybe THAT'S what I want to do when life gives me lemons. ... That analogy makes a bit of crap sense but I hope the message came through somehow.

I guess the point is, I wanted to acknowledge the struggles of the people I know and the people I don't know. The Universe seems to be shifting a bit and old scars are being challenged by new opportunities and questions just seem to be leading to new questions. It's exhausting. But giving up doesn't seem likely and settling for less seems a bit disrespectful to struggles that brought us this far so maybe there's a bit of rethinking necessary. So maybe it's time to sit for a moment, take a few deep breaths and revisit the road map with an open mind to the alternate routes that might lead to the same destination.

Yeah, let's sit for a bit and talk about that.

You bring the forks. I'll bring the lemon meringue pie.

When I made the decision to do a series of interviews of people that have inspired me creatively and otherwise, there were some very obvious first choices.  I'm thrilled to say that in the coming weeks you will be introduced to all of them as they have all said yes to my request.

First up is Eric Himan, an extraordinary singer-songwriter I discovered by chance a few years ago. I don't know how exactly I ended up on his page on CD Baby but I immediately fell in love with his music and promptly ordered everything. As fate would have it, I was at WineFest here in Des Moines a couple weeks later and there he was, singing from the stage. I met him briefly that night and found his grace and charm to equal the passion and power of his music.

I interviewed him last summer when I was doing a small publication to support the independent musicians making a stop at Ritual Cafe, my favorite coffee shop here in Des Moines. Since then, I've seen him every time he's made Des Moines a stop on his tour and it always feels like I'm reconnecting with a friend.

With his latest album, Resonate, Eric explores a wide range of emotions and stories so I used the song list and the few descriptors included with each of them in the CD case as the inspiration for a series of questions instead of a standard Q&A format. For a more formal introduction to the full definition of all that is Eric Himan, please check out his website and his MySpace page.

WISH YOU WOULD
A song about looking back on someone you lost in love or in life.
When I saw you perform this song at Ritual Cafe last year, you hadn't yet decided on a title. How do your songs usually come to you? A melody? A single lyric? A title in search of a song? And how many of your songs are autobiographical and how many are storytelling?
My songs come to me in all different ways. Sometimes, I have a just a melody line and a single lyric (usually these two are hand in hand). Other times, I will find a few chords that fit together well and then step away from it for a while. Then, one day (this part sounds magical,ha), in my mind the lyrics and melody will find the chords. I would say 95% of my songs are autobiographical, whether a story of my life or my thought process. The rest are songs that are challenges in songwriting for me like Clyde, He’s Using You, and Little Boy Blue.

OPEN THE DOOR
A song for my sister, Janet, who needed her big brother to stand up for her.
The small description of this song is very intriguing, especially when someone like me starts trying to dissect the lyrics and figure out the truth of the matter. How much more can you say about the story that inspired this song?
This song was inspired by conversations with my sister about our father. He got married a few years back and really took to his wife’s family. I think my sister felt a bit estranged and when I saw this, I decided to write this song as a wake-up call to him and let him know that she was feeling this way. This song successfully started a great dialogue between them.

LITTLE BOY BLUE
Written about a transgendered boy I met years ago who taught me how to be myself without apologies.
Can you talk a bit more about the boy who you met, how he challenged your thinking and the lasting impression he has left on your life?
“Little Boy Blue” was written about a great transgendered boy I met a few years back while doing a tour of LGBT youth centers. I met many great youth on this trip, but no one made me work harder for their friendship than the boy that inspired this song. By the end of the day, we were good friends. I learned not to force friendships and take people for who they are. He was very straight forward with his emotions and I respected that. I remember that he was in between homes at the time and I wonder sometimes what happened to him. Hope he is ok.

Be sure to also check out the music video for Little Boy Blue.

UNTIL THE ROAD UNWINDS
A song I wrote for a movie that it didn’t end up in. However, it is a great song about the importance of family, not necessarily biological, but the ones you call family.
Though it can definitely apply to gay people who find themselves shut out by their families, the concept of our "chosen families" is universal and we all seem to magically find the right "tribe" that makes us feel less alone. This song seems particularly written for a person that helped raise you though not a blood relative. Can you explain a bit about the story of the film that inspired it? And what was that writing experience like?
This song was written specifically for the movie, For The Bible Tells Me So. They asked me to write something for the film but in the end, they went with a popular song from an established artist. I wrote it after seeing the film and the connection we either have or crave with our own family. Whether it is being gay or other things that might hit a family hard, we all have that special person in our lives (my Grandma Grace is mine) that sticks by us no matter what and gets the whole story. This song is dedicated to anyone who has this person in their life regardless of if they are blood related.

FOR ME
Our culture is so obsessed with celebrities and their private lives more now than ever. After awhile you get caught up hearing about their lives even when you’re not actively seeking it. Then there are millions of reality shows made to make new celebrities. This world is a scary place; someone seeking stardom is eliminated from a reality show every hour.
While there are songs on this album that are almost aggressively political--Protestor's Song being the most obvious--to me it felt like this song sprang forth from a great deal of anger and frustration at the state of celebrity. As an artist trying to "break through", how does it feel to see how people are treated who are living the life that in, some ways, you aspire to reach?
I struggle sometimes with the kind of life I see for myself. Though money and fame can bring security (which I crave sometimes when feeling especially vulnerable in business), I always wanted a career in music to express myself and my opinions. On a basic level, I am doing that right now and very satisfied. Seeing celebrities and how everyday people have more to say about famous people’s lives than their own, made me think that we all tend to take some else’s word as truth. Like hearing some else’s opinion or the media’s opinion of someone we don’t know saves us from having to get to know them and understand them ourselves (ie. Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan). We begin to like who they like, or hate who they hate and this extends to peer pressure as well. In the second verse, I describe seeing a kid abused by a father and how we can be trained to just walk by and think that we do not understand and can’t help the situation. We need to give everyone a chance regardless of what rumors/gossip is heard.

PROTESTER'S SONG
After all the Pride events I have done with protesters attending with hate, I decided to own my feelings instead of trying to suppress them about the issues that surround the LGBT community in relation to family values, the military, and that word that is often thrown at us: hell.
As I said previously, this is the most obviously political song on the album and, I believe, the first time you've written a song so in your face with it's rage. It's my personal favorite on the album and I wanted to stand up and cheer when I first heard you sing it in a show. How do you think the decision to be an openly gay artist has affected your professional journey, both good and bad?
It is hard to answer this question, because I don’t know what it is like to NOT be an openly gay artist. I was out from the get-go and this was because I didn’t want to package myself up as something I was not. I wanted to speak about my life and being honest. I wrote this song and accepted it the way it came out. I didn’t edit it and chose not to be afraid of offending those who didn’t agree with my values, something that does make me nervous being a people pleaser as I can be. I have received so much praise for this song and I am so glad that it gets the reaction that it does with gay and straight people.

IN DEMAND
This song is about money, of course, and how it takes money to make money. It also takes believing in yourself to make others believe in you too.
It seems that many people these days are more concerned with their financial status than their emotional or spiritual status. In some ways, this song seems to mock that as a way to try to get the focus back on what really matters. Where did the inspiration for this song come from?
This song was written for anyone who has ever said to me: “when you get big and famous” or “when you become a big star and sell out”. The idea that success will change me and my values based on increased finances always offends me a bit. It shows a lack of trust in me. When an artist who sells their art to make a living is looked down upon for getting more successful, I always wonder the backlash of those who have followed their careers for a long period of time. They fear this loss of who the artist once was. I don’t think money has ever changed me, whether I had a lot of money or no money (been at both ends), and this song was made to kind of poke fun at that thought process; The idea that the whether you are rich or poor, the electric company only cares if you pay the bill. The way gas prices are going, the line “they raise the prices and they never put them back” seems very suitable these days.

ONLY
I finally wrote my first upbeat happy love song…it’s taken a while.
I've talked to a lot of singer-songwriters who have said they can only write when their life is a mess, that it's easier to write about hurt, anger and loneliness than it is to write about joy and happiness. The note you include about this song makes me think perhaps this a bit true for you as well. Why do you think this is?
I used to think this way too; that art comes from struggle. But, these past few years when I looked at my songwriting and had things in my life hit that great balance and I was happy, I thought there is so much left to explore. Just because I was happy, didn’t mean there was nothing to write about. My life isn’t over once I reach happiness. It is continuous and there are plenty of things to write about the journey.

HE'S USING YOU
Wrote this as I was listening to an acquaintance talk about money over love. I started to feel bad for anyone who truly falls in love with someone who is only after material things. This is my “Christina” for Patty Griffin fans.
Is the person who inspired this song aware that they were the inspiration and, if so, what was the reaction?
Also, you mention Patty Griffin whom I know you greatly admire. If you had the chance to interview her but found out suddenly that you could ask only one question, what would it be?
I wrote this song for a friend who made an off-handed remark that seemed like a last resort. “If I don’t find Mr. Right, I’ll just marry some rich guy”. I got this person in my mind, this little rich guy, and how unfair a relationship with my friend would be. How this fictional person deserved more than that. I began to think about relationships in my past where I felt like I was being used. I put those two things together. I did tell him about the song and he actually liked it. Maybe he will think next time he thinks of a rich guy as a last resort or a viable option for that matter. You know I LOVE Patty Griffin. If I could sit down and ask her one question, it would be "Who or what influenced you to starting writing your own music?" I find the answers to this question are very unique.

WE ARE THE SAME
This was a piece of a song that I had written awhile back and decided it just needed to be a short, sweet song about treating others as you wish to be treated. First somewhat spiritual song I’ve written.
What I like about this song is the way it just simply states a very clear message that cuts to the ultimate truth of the world we live in. I love the line "the world is too small to be scared of it" because we have a tendency to view the world as this enormous place but it really isn't all that big and we are more connected to each other than we sometimes want to admit. At what point did it click for you that the simplicity of this song was really all it needed to be?
I remember writing this song with just the verses that are in it now. I wrote it all in one shot and put it aside. I kept coming back to it trying to make it this elaborate song. It never felt right and when it came time to record it, I ended up just singing and playing what I had. When I heard it back, I realized that it didn’t need anything else. I said everything I wanted to say and proud of it.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING
A song I released as a solo acoustic song that accompanied my first music video. Decided to spice it up a bit with the band and make it new again.
It's seems that there is a whole story in this song, just in the one line " I’m begging you now to reflect, the best of me I’ve not seen yet". Can you tell me more about the inspiration for this song and how it came to be?
This song came out of a HUGE soul searching month two years ago, towards the end of my touring with Everywhere All At Once. I had burned myself out on the road and didn’t know if my heart was in music anymore. I began to stress on it leaving me just looking around any corner for a sign or an answer. I sat down with my friend, Cas, and played her the few verses I had of this song and though talking out my feelings, this song came to life. By the end of our talk, this song was completed. The line in the song you reference was from being so vulnerable and open to a sign. When the song was finished, I knew that music was my outlet, my communication, and my life.

(ENCORE)
Thanks for the taking the time to answer these questions, Eric. To steal a question from Inside the Actor's Studio, if there is a God, what would you like him to say to you when you show up at the pearly gates?
Thank you for being you.

www.erichiman.com

Be sure look for Eric as he seems to be on endlessly on tour. And please go in search of his music. You can thank me later.

 Shadley

I have iGoogle set as my homepage so everyday when I log in there's a a barrage of fun facts, games, news, etc. One of the sections is a "How to of the Day." I've never clicked on one before because sually they say things like "How to Raise Mosquito Larvae for Fish Food" or "How to Cook a Snake." ... These are not skills my current life requires.
However, one of today's articles caught my attention. Kim and I are in the process of trying to accomplish some pretty big things of which Once Upon A City is only a part. And a big dose of boldness will likely make the difference between being a blip on the radar with simple lives and becoming formidable creative professionals living extraordinary adventures.
So I thought I'd repost the article here. Just in case you needed a reminder as well of how much power you actually have over making the leap from Wanting to Having.
Go on, now. Be bold. I dare you.

How to Be Bold

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit
Begin, be bold and venture to be wise. -HoraceIf you're shy, hesitant, or passive, you run the risk of leading a boring life marked by routine and unfulfilled goals. Most progress, however, has been led by people who were bold--scientists, political leaders, artists, and others who didn't wait for opportunities; they created opportunities. So if you want to be bold and unstoppable, here are some ways to kick start your momentum.

Steps

1. Pretend you're already bold. If you were to switch places with somebody who is as bold as bold can be, what would they do in your shoes? If you already know someone who's bold, imagine how they'd act. If you don't know anyone like that, think of a character from a movie or book who's daring and brave. Spend one hour a day or one day a week pretending to be them. When you do this, go somewhere that people don't know you and won't act surprised when you do things that are out of character. Go through the motions and see what happens--you might discover that amazing things happen when you're bold, and you might be convinced to carry this bold behavior into your everyday life.
2. Make the first move. Whenever you're feeling hesitant--especially in your interactions with others--swallow your pride and make the first move. Ask your acquaintance if they'd like to go to the bar down the street for drinks after work. Tell the person you fancy that you've got two tickets to a concert and you'd like them to come with you. Give your significant other a big hug and apologize for that time you overreacted a few months ago. Smile and wink at the attractive cashier.
3. Do something unpredictable. What could you do that would completely surprise the people who know you? Wear high heels? Skydive? Take a dance class? Bold people aren't afraid of trying new things, and one of the reasons they're so exciting to be around is that they keep you guessing. You can start small, perhaps by wearing a color or style of clothing that you don't normally wear, or visiting a place you normally wouldn't visit. Eventually, you may get to the point where you entertain ideas that make other people's eyes widen when you mention them ("Are you serious? White water rafting?" or "You're kidding me. You want to buy that restaurant on 3rd Street?").
4. Ask for what you want. Rather than wait to be recognized for your efforts, or expect someone to consider your needs, step right up to the plate and ask. Some people feel that asking for things is greedy, selfish, and rude--and it is, if you're asking for something you don't deserve. But if someone is witholding something that you've rightfully earned, they're the ones being greedy, selfish, and rude. Besides, what's the worst that could happen? They say no. Life goes on.
   • Ask for that promotion or pay raise you've been waiting (and working) for.
   • Ask for a discount. A little haggling can go a long way.
   • Ask to have your credit card's annual fee waived.
   • Ask a relative, friend, or even a complete stranger for help or advice.
   • Ask for clarification if you're not sure what is expected of you.
5. Take risks. There's a difference between being reckless and accepting risks. Reckless people don't accept risks...they don't even think about them. A bold person, on the other hand, is well aware of the risks, and has decided to go through with the decision anyway, ready and willing to accept the consequences if things don't work out. Think of an athlete who takes risks every day. Are they reckless? No. It's a measured risk. You might make a mistake; we all do. But inaction can be a mistake as well, one that leads to emptiness and regret. For many people, having taken risks and fallen flat on their faces was far more fulfilling than having done nothing at all.

Tips

• Don't confuse being bold with being aggressive. Aggressiveness often involves imposing your viewpoints or actions on others. Boldness has nothing to do with the people around you; it's about overcoming your fears and taking action.
• Don't worry about rejection. Try to make your invitations to others occur as "without consequence," i.e., the opposite of an invitation from your mother to dinner. Conversely, when your invitation is declined, boldly accept it and leave the other person/people feeling okay with their choice.
• While there's power in taking on something new, there's also a greater chance of failure because of your lack of experience. Embrace the failure; it's not the opposite of success, it's a necessary component. The opposite of success is sitting still.

Related wikiHows

• How to Stop Being a People Pleaser
• How to Think for Yourself
• How to Be a Nonconformist
• How to Accomplish a Goal
• How to Be Bold on wikiHow

Article provided by wikiHow, a collaborative writing project to build the world's largest, highest quality how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Be Bold. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

I am a huge fan of music, especially female singer-songwriters. As I begin to roll out the interviews with the people that inspire me creatively, I'll just warn you right now that a lot of them are girls with guitars. I make no apologies for that.
I'm also a big fan of discovering new music. I rarely listen to the radio and it because of services like www.pandora.com that my Amazon wish list is 11 pages long for CDs alone. If you're not familiar with Pandora and you love you music, you need to acquaint yourself. Basically, you log in, you type in the name of a favorite song or artist and then a free radio station is generated that matches that style or artist. And each song they play has a hyperlink to the album on Amazon and iTunes. This would be why I get in trouble.
This is a bit of a sidebar because I discovered Adele in a much different way. I had read that you could hear the entirety of Alanis Morrissette's new album on VH1.com before it was released in stores. Going back to my love of female singer-songwriters, I, of course, wanted to hear it. Yes, in fact, it was there. Yes, in fact, I bought it. But it didn't stop there.
Among the videos of artists You Outta Know was a woman named Adele with a song called Chasing Pavement. Curious enough title. So I played the video. Instantly blown away.
A smoky voice with gut wrenching delivery and a video with a brilliantly told story. Add to that a comment I read by Adele when I researched her more. Of course, I cannot find the comment again in order to quote her correctly but, essentially she was talking about being stressed out and eating to deal with it. When asked if she was nervous about her weight in the entertainment industry, she responded (paraphrasing) "I'm here to sing, not to look pretty for you." She's only 19 years old. If she can hold on to that attitude, she's gonna be just fine.
It goes without saying, Alanis wasn't the only album I bought that day. And, honestly, I fear the Alanis album will discover the beauty of dust long before Adele's record will.

This is a painting I did last year for my first full art exhibit. It's not my usual style because I have a tremendous capacity for melancholy, heartbreak, and "woe-is-me" in my art. Many of the stories and artwork I've created for Once Upon A City are tinged with sadness and this bluesy overtone spills over into the other creative things I do. The songs I write. The "bigger" stories I'm working on. The things I paint.

This painting, however, seems to overflow with such tremendous and wide open joy for life and love and hope and goodness that it just makes me smile. The ways in which I can spiral in my darkness can be blinding a so I like to remind myself that I am equally capable of giddiness and silliness and a child-like lust for glorious living. And that's what this painting does for me.

It's certainly not brilliant but I don't really care. I don't create because I need praise and accolades (not that there's anything WRONG with those things, of course). I create because I love to create. I am a storyteller above all else. And this painting tells the story of boy reaching out with all his might because he believes in the possibility of greatness and he believes that joy and love is his to embrace and share. And sometimes that's the only reminder a person needs to get up and go back out there.

Creativity isn't always about creating something to share with the world. Sometimes it's about creating your own reminders that it's going to be okay. I write stories about finding answers when I don't even understand the questions. I write love songs for lovers I haven't yet met. And I paint flowers "for you", whoever you might be. Because I can. Because I need to. 

This is your new blog post. Click here and start typing, or drag in elements from the top bar.

It's not easy to actually start something that has been in the incubation period for a long time. It takes a certain amount of bravery to allow yourself to move from Wanting to Having. I think we can be so accustomed to wanting that we forget what it feels like to actually have. And, I suppose, there is a certain amount of fear that comes from actually taking the chance. What if I fail? What if "they" don't like it? What if I end up stuck in a big pile of regret? What if it's too much work? What if I suddenly realize that thing I wanted can't bring me all the bliss I thought it would while I was daydreaming about it? What if I'm laughed at, do something wrong, look stupid? What if my friends never mention the spinach in my teeth or the toilet paper on my shoe?

A thousand questions come screaming out of the darkness when faced with the realization that maybe, just maybe, that dream can become a reality. We're a society built on fear and sometimes those fears can be so crippling that we'd rather let opportunities pass us by than fully embrace all of the potential they hold. Yes, I am standing here with my toes dangling over the edge of possibilities and I am consumed by all the questions mentioned above and a million others. But here's the response that came shouting back from the rebel spirit that has carried me this far. "SO WHAT?"

So what if it's scary. So what that I might fail. So what that my creativity and the way that I choose to express it won't connect with every single person in all of creation. So what if some people treat me like a joke, laugh at the attempts I make, or consider my risks and dreams stupid. So what about the spinach and the toilet paper. So what. So what. So what.

And maybe I should give a little bit of attention to the flip side of those possibilities. What if it's brilliant? What if the work of Once Upon A City and my other creative ideas are exactly what a depressed person finds and needs to feel a little bit less alone, if only for a moment? What if it makes me rich in ways that transcend wealth? What if my friends and I get to celebrate our success a year from now with an all expense paid trip to Bora Bora? What if I get to meet the people who inspired me as a child and who continue to inspire me as I take my own kamikaze leaps in life? What if all the dreams I've had for myself were only the very beginning of what is possible? What if I just shut the hell up and did it instead of spiraling in the excuses that keep me standing still? What if I stopped wondering and just found out by doing?

The truth is, I just don't know what this new adventure holds for me. But I'm going to find out. I invite you along for the journey. And I look forward to being inspired by the stories I will hear along the way.